A valuable lesson for me this week has been just how dangerous it is to justify addictions, and not to respect them as what they are. I was watching Sneaky last night and he told someone off camera what he wanted from McDonald's. You know, the place I've eaten at 200 times this year and shouldn't sound good at all. My mouth filled with saliva instantly. I wanted it so bad. 

Yesterday morning, I told Dayna just how happy I was. I felt so glad that I hadn't cheated at all, and even though I hadn't been hungry, I had been feeling cravings. The combined emotions in the same day felt odd. How could I be so aware of my sense of fulfillment over doing something I wanted to do, and also feel the pull of addiction so strongly?

Well I didn't cave. I still haven't. I'm not planning on it, either. We have a cooking date coming up this Saturday, and to be clear, this isn't a cheat. This is something that I'm choosing to do. And then I'll choose to do what's made me happy. I think that calling it a cheat meal has serious drawbacks, but just being an adult and making choices vs chasing addiction. 

So I'm down 11 pounds. That makes me happy. I only have 10 more to go and I'm in my range of ideal.