I'm a broken record. I know it. Learning what I already know has been hard for me my whole life.

Getting enough sleep. Exercising. Eating what I actually want to eat and not anything else. If I do those things I'm happier in every way.

I lie and say that I deserve something that's the opposite. I will feel better if I just indulge. It's been wrong every time, yet I still struggle.

My new mantra is that contemplation is failure. I'm not talking about not thinking, but I am saying that when I consider cheating on my diet, I almost always will. If there's any excuse (hard day, visitors in town, trading for sexual favors,) I'm going to cave in a depressing percent of the time.

My goal is to decide what I want for exercise, for diet, for sleep, for family time, and just do it. Don't think about being tired and just give in to cravings and addictions. Don't contemplate if Apollo Burger sounds good. It'll always sound good, and there's no discovery really happening. It will also siphon my money and my happiness.

That's the secret, though. In order to do what you've planned on, you need to have a plan. The menu must be planned out, the budget is prioritized, the exercises are predetermined, and I have to go to sleep on time.

This morning I was 212 pounds, and I want to be in the lower 190s. Part of my problem is that the weight I want to lose has been smaller than it was last year, so instead of thinking "I've got to stick with this" I keep thinking "I'm close! I'll bust this out in a few weeks and be done."

I think realistically I could be there by Halloween. That's 3 months to be at my goal weight. I'll let you know, non-existent readers.